SocialistStories حكايات اشتراكية

I cannot concentrate at this meeting…Invoices… 20,000… Interests… 17,000..late payments… I just can’t stop thinking about the rocky hill nearby… The rocky hill adjacent to the sea… What a view! I wish I was on the top of it right now… alone..with some food, grapes maybe? Nuts? Doesn’t matter.. I will take a great book and when I get tired, I’ll lay down and try to catch the clouds with my hands. No, what about a few friends and comrades? Yup! That’s it.. people eating, laughing and discussing things…. Add to that a jazz quartet.. we’ll be celebrating something… life, perhaps… Why do all my dreams seem to have a jazz quartet?

………………………… sometimes I wish I could vanish.. evaporate into the thin air.. What would happen then? Will anyone miss me? No, Seriously, If I died today…. Will I be remembered by more than family and friends? What would I be remembered for? Not much!

My job is meaningless..Just endless piles of paperwork and queues of phone calls…It’s eating away my life…Like a burning cigarette…. CIGARETTES STINK! My boss can lecture me about “responsibility” and “how he’s not in it for the money”… “You know what, I’m in it for the money”..I should say that to him one day and see his reaction…. FUCK MONEY! NO, don’t fuck money… I said I’m in the job for it….

I’ve started to sleep less to do the things I like and it’s taking a toll on my body… I basically run on caffeine… Till I drop dead asleep….. But I still put off organizing my papers, clothes and books… Have I even looked at my handbag? Why does it have so many papers?

When I get home, after having a roam in town, my parents will say,” Why can’t you come home straight from work?”.. I’ll mumble something and go to my room… I’m too old to live in the family house!! Sometimes being single sucks! I need someone to warm my bed… Maybe I need to open up a little bit… Who knows? No, no, no! I’m done with dating idiots..

What? You wanna end up like your friends? Budoor was not smiling the last time I met her and Farah, well.. is not “farah” anymore… I just can’t help but think that it’s their husbands are the reasons behind it….. Do they sleep in warm beds?? Still… Someone to hold me at night… ONE KISS… ONE KISS…..

………………………… Where was I? yes, eating grapes on the rocky hill…………………………… I need a vacation!